Self-regulation means the ability to understand your emotions and patterns of behavior during a peculiar situation. Simply, it tells how you behave towards certain feelings or the things happening around you.
Self-regulation includes being able to
- Become calm after something exciting or upsetting
- Control impulses
- Behave calmly when things go out of order
- Focus on a task
Why does self-regulation matter?
Self-regulation helps a child in multiple ways in their trajectory of growth. It helps them
- Better learning at school- because it gives them the patience to sit calmly and listen in the classroom.
- Make friends- because they play, share toys, wait for turns, and just get better at expressing and understanding other children’s emotions.
- Behave decently in society- because society tests the impulses of an individual. This is where self-regulation plays an important role.
- Become independent- A self-regulated child will be able to take decisions in certain situations without asking for much guidance from you.
How is self-regulation developed?
Self-regulation is developed through warm and responsive relations. Children also develop self-regulation by watching adults.
Self-regulation starts developing in a child when they are toddlers. And more of it keeps on developing during preschool, school, and teen years.
Ways to develop self-regulation in children
Self-regulation isn’t developed through one day of practice. Once you start engaging with your child to help them learn the art of self-regulation, it will develop eventually with time. Ever wondered how you can help your child develop self-regulation?
Here are a few ways you can use to do so.
- Model self-regulation
If you know how to self-regulate yourself, you can very much help your child to do so too. When a child is angry or having a complete downstairs of mood swings, don’t try to argue or talk. Listen to them, help them become more self-aware, and guide them through sensory experiences and calming strategies.
- Praise, when necessary
Children demand to be appreciated and valued at times. A little appreciation from parents in completing homework, helping with household chores, or building a new habit help gain confidence and self-esteem. Celebrate the small successes of your child as and when necessary.
- Give the child a toolbox to manage self-regulation
The idea is to help children stay calm in the moment.
Give them a toolbox to do so. For instance
- Mental Break- dance, music, coloring
- Physical Break- exercise, walk, stretch
- Grounding Activity- deep breathing, slow counting, etc.
- Social Break- ask for help from family/ friends
- Give specific feedbacks
Be a more focus-driven parent instead of results. Help them learn from their mistakes and failures. Make plans to handle failures.
- Be patient
Patience is the key to handling difficult children. Children during growth learn every day. What they learn and how they respond have to be handled patiently. Therefore, stay calm and relaxed while dealing with your child’s tantrums and self-regulation issues.